Would You Rather, Mom Edition: A day with kids or a day without kids?

Name something better for a mom reset than time away without kids. Time AT HOME without kids. Seriously, time at my own house with zero kids around comes rarely, if at all. So when hubs offered to take the kids to Nana and Papa’s just to give me some time alone…at home… I just about burst. He rightfully instructed me to rest and relax and do all of the things I never get to do. But here’s the thing, I think the reason why time at home without kids is so appealing to me is because I can do all of the normal things that need to get done in a normal amount of time with a normal amount of sanity. Maybe a little rest and relaxation if I have time, but really that’s a bonus. To illustrate my point, here’s two normal days at home…one with kids around, one without kids around…which one would you pick?!

A Day With Kids

6:00am Wake up. Most likely to the bruises chanting, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” or “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Get kids up, bruises get their iPads in Mommy and Daddy’s bed while we hang there for as long as we can manage before the bow is too restless to sit still anymore…which is like five minutes. We’re lucky if one of us gets back to sleep. (And actually I feel like a 6am wake up call isn’t half bad…)

7:15am Breakfast. Brew the coffee, forget to add cream and sugar till an hour later while you fix kids’ breakfast (one wants waffles, one wants a bagel, so you make them fight it out because you aren’t making more than one thing…). Finally remember your coffee, take a sip and put it down somewhere you’ll never remember. You may or may not remember to have breakfast yourself.

7:45am Playtime. The bruises play independently in the playroom happily for a little bit while you frantically try and wash the dishes from breakfast, put away the dishes from the night before, clean up the counter, and maybe squeeze a load of laundry in the wash if you’re lucky. The bow sits at the kitchen counter watching you work, because, well, she can’t be trusted to play on her own without eating everything in sight. An hour into playtime you hear the bruises start arguing and scuffling ensues, so Mickey goes on the TV and you promptly leave whatever chores you are doing half done because they can’t go any longer unsupervised. So you grab your ice cold (not on purpose) coffee and plop yourself on the couch to actively supervise because Mickey isn’t doing the distraction trick. So much for chores.

9:30am Snack time. Even though you just finished breakfast, somehow someway the bruises are hungry and the bow is whining for her morning nap. So you give them the choice of goldfish or cheez its because, no, chips and gummies are not a good morning snack, and while they munch for two seconds you run the bow upstairs and throw her in her crib so you can take advantage of any free time to get back to chores while the bruises are occupied with snacks. Only thing is you don’t remember what chore you were doing so the wet laundry sits in the washer for another 3 hours before being turned over to the dryer, and the loads just keep stacking up. Meanwhile you frantically try and clean up the playroom that’s been destroyed – because when they play they don’t actually play they just take everything out and throw it around the room, creating a real-life landmine perfect for shoeless feet.

11:00am Outside time. At this point you probably kicked the kids outside because now instead of playing in the playroom they are running around the whole first floor throwing pillows at each other and wrestling, which is the key sign they need to get some energy out. So you pause the playroom cleanup, take 20 minutes to get everyone dressed to play outside in the freezing cold, and they run around happily playing while you freeze your a** off repeatedly asking “Hey does anyone want hot chocolate?!” in an effort to get them to come inside but no one seems to hear you. The baby monitor stops working because it’s too cold out or it lost signal, so you hear muffled crying while you’re outside letting you know the bow has woken up from her nap. Dang that was a short one. You were hoping her nap would take her to lunch time. Here’s your first bad mom moment of the day: You can’t get the boys in so you run inside as fast as you can leaving the boys unsupervised outside, grab the bow from her crib, throw her snowsuit on and grab a half defrosted bottle and get back outside as fast as you can hoping no one died or got kidnapped while you were inside. As soon as you get back outside the bruises tell you they’re cold and ask to go inside.

11:30am Lunch. You whip up whatever leftovers you have, and if you have none then its mac and cheese or PB & J or butter noodles, and you wait to make your own lunch because you KNOW they won’t eat much of theirs so you just resign yourself to the leftovers so that you don’t waste any food. You have about 2.7 bites of mac and cheese, 1 bite of PB & J, and maybe some leftover cut up apples, and hey, not so bad of a lunch after all.

12:00pm Play time. You kick the bruises out of the kitchen so you can clean up, sending them to mess up the playroom that you already cleaned up once all over again. And it’s only a matter of minutes till the two year old is whining and crying which is your signal for his nap time. You were hoping to make it to 1 but you don’t want to deal with 55 minutes of whining so you bring him up early.

12:05pm Nap time. The two year old takes his nap early, so the four year old asks for his “games” – code for his iPad. And while you know you shouldn’t give him technology again because he already watched his iPad and watched three episodes of Mickey this morning, you oblige in another bad mom moment because if you hand the baby off to husband you know it means you get to grab a shower. While you’re in the shower you promptly sit down on the floor of the shower and let the water run down your back for as long as you can manage because it’s your one minute of peace and quiet, and by gosh you’ll take that minute and turn it into 30 because 30 minute showers are where the rest and relaxation’s at. You get out of the shower and the middle bruise is still sleeping (Yay!), but it’s time to put the bow down for her second nap and the oldest bruise is saying he’s hungry again. Didn’t you just eat lunch ten minutes ago? You deliver and serve his snack bowl and water bottle while he continues to watch games because you know you can grab 15 more minutes to get dressed and brush your hair. No time for a blow dry or make up. You lay down because everyone is content and think you might steal a few minutes shutting your eyes or scrolling your phone but within 2 minutes the monitor is going off and the middle bruise is up, cranky in his true fashion, and whining for gummies and milk.

2:00pm (More) Technology time. Because the middle bruise saw the older bruise watching his games, he of course wants to watch games too. So rather than putting the iPads away and enjoying some tech-free family time, you don’t want to hear his tantrum anymore so you give them each another hour on technology. Tantrum averted, and you pry the iPads out of their hands an hour later, when the baby wakes up from her second nap.

3:00pm Family playtime. You muster up the energy to actually play with the kids because you know all they want is for you to play with them. You prepare yourself for a few hours of outside or indoor play depending on the weather…which means hide and seek when everyone hides in the same spot or peaks through their hands when counting, or pretend play with toys and you have to show your best pink power ranger moves. Good thing the bow is such a gem because she just sits and scoots along following every move the family makes. Sometimes she’s forgotten about and you have to run to the front yard to grab her because she’s sitting there all by herself eating dirt happy as a clam.

5:00pm You’re having fun with your kids for once but dinner calls so you wrangle everyone inside with a snack and more Mickey so you can buy some time to prep and cook dinner. The bow sits with you at the counter while you cook, and if you’re lucky the boys are spent so they aren’t at each other’s throats while watching Mickey. You remember you never turned that load of laundry over so you go downstairs to flip it real quick and spy the other ten hampers lined up and you realize you’ll be lucky if you get this all done before the hampers are full again.

6:00pm Dinner. And dinner means you made it because you drag dinner out to get you to 6:30 so that right after you can get everyone in the bath and in their pjs ready for bed.

7:00pm Bed time. If you time it all right (which happens once in a blue moon), you go dinner-bath-story-bed, and you get all the kids to bed on time. But you come downstairs and realize the playroom is a mess again and there are a few lone dishes still to be done. So you clean and wash dishes and flip the laundry one more time. Only nine more loads to go.

8:00pm Adult time. Lay down on one couch while hubs lays on the other, he watches football on the big screen while you watch Tik Tok on your phone. You have every intention of just checking social media for a few minutes before watching a show with hubs, but before you know it, it’s 10:00 and you’re still on Tik Tok. So you go up to bed, but you have trouble falling asleep because your eyes have been glued to a screen for the past 2 hours. And you remember there’s still nine loads of laundry waiting to be done downstairs, and you know you’ll get them all done tomorrow but they’ll sit in hampers unfolded until next weekend when it’s time for the new loads.

You go to sleep, get up, repeat, never really getting anything done effectively or efficiently, and the cycle just keeps going.

A Day Without Kids

7:30am Wake up. Holy hell you slept till 7:30! You don’t remember what it’s like to sleep in but you’re also anxious that you’ve already wasted so much of the day. You check the monitor out of habit and are reminded that the kids aren’t here, which makes you kind of sad, but remember you asked for this…or at least welcomed it. You lay in bed on your phone for a few minutes and then facetime the kids because even though they’ve only been gone a day you miss them like heck already.

8:30am Shower. To actually have time to take a shower and not worry about anything else while you are taking a shower is heavenly. You shave your legs and pluck your eyebrows for the first time in a month, and when you get out of the shower you wrap yourself in a robe and hop right back in bed, laying there for an hour because you don’t know what to do with all this time so it feels perfectly normal to do nothing at all but stare at the popcorn ceilings.

9:30am Breakfast. Because at this point you’re starving because usually everyone is eating at 7:15, but you’re pumped because you get to enjoy a hot cup of coffee IN ITS ENTIRETY while watching the Today Show. Savannah I see you!

10:30am Cleaning and laundry. You drag your butt off the couch and away from the Today Show to clean as much of the house as you possibly can, remember to flip the laundry every single time it’s needed – it’s like you and the washer and dryer have ESP because you’re gona kill it today and get everything done that normally doesn’t get done.

12:45pm Lunch time. Before you know it, it’s 3 hours later and you realize you haven’t eaten lunch. For once you make yourself a salad and aren’t resigned to the kids’ leftovers, but you eat quick because you still have the other half of the house to clean.

1:00pm Cleaning and laundry. You clean the other half of the house, and by some miracle all the loads of laundry are done so you have all ten hampers upstairs in the living room. You go on a folding spree while watching Dateline because who doesn’t watch Dateline when you have the TV to yourself? And two hours later you’ve watched an episode, folded all the laundry, and if you’re lucky, you’ve even managed to put it all away.

3:00pm Be sad and miss the kids. So far you’ve been busy all day trying to get things done so you haven’t had time to stop and think. But now that you have time to stop and think, you realize you miss the kids, start texting the husband, who’s clearly annoyed that you’re texting so much (you can tell by his one word responses) so you lay off and wait for the night time facetime. While you wait, the TV is mindlessly on in the background while you scroll through the picture reel on your phone looking at photos of your kids because you miss them so much.

5:00pm Dinner? Do you think about dinner yet? Who eats at 5 anyway? But you’re bored and you don’t really know what to do, but you also don’t feel like cooking so you make yourself some butter noodles (lol) and are done with dinner by 5:30pm.

5:45pm. Shut down the house downstairs (most likely forget to turn off a few lights but shh hubs isn’t home so he’ll never know) and head upstairs for the night. If you’re lucky, you’ll get the facetime call from the kids saying goodnight. And you’ll talk to them for an hour before the hubs softly says, “Ok I should probably get them to bed.” So you say goodbye, turn on 90 Day Fiance, and binge watch seven episodes in bed. You did remember to get yourself a glass of wine after the third episode, but you’re too lazy to bring it back downstairs so the empty glass sits on your nightstand all night long.

9:00pm You go to sleep, with the TV on, of course, because if you turn the TV off you’ll hear every noise in the house and be convinced a serial killer is downstairs and is moments away from coming for you. You wake up on and off all night because it’s freaking creepy sleeping alone in your house, but you make it through the night and when you wake up you can’t contain your excitement because the kids come home today and OMG you missed them so much you’ll tell hubs to never take them away again!

But seriously if you compare this to the day with kids, look how much more you still have to read!

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At least if it’s the day without kids you were able to stop reading ten paragraphs ago. 🙂

So for real, which one would you pick? Kind of a trick question, maybe. Yeah it’s nice to have the occasional time without kids, and don’t get me wrong I’m super grateful I have a hubs who can recognize when he needs to give me my space and let me do me. But, I don’t think I would ever trade a day with kids for a day without kids on the reg? It’s this crazy beautiful life with kids I realize I love so much!

And on the afternoon of the second day by myself, I was able to crash on the couch!