The Magic of Summer Camp

Before Camp (T-shirt linked – click on photo)
After Camp

Can I just start by saying, I sent this bruise off to summer camp this morning for the first time this summer and the only thing missing when he came back was his socks. WIN!

Preface

Before I get into it, I feel like I need to give lip service to the current COVID situation. I DON’T feel like I should have to defend my decisions for what I do or don’t do with my kids in regards to COVID. Nor should I have to explain them, so I’m not going to. We all need to practice getting in the habit of honoring and respecting others’ decisions, rather than judging or questioning them. So when I tell you I sent my kid to summer camp, your response should simply be, “Wow, I’m really proud of you for making that decision! I know it must have been really hard.” (Because trust me, this is the nature and reality of any decision-making surrounding families with kids and camp/school/daycare). No room for hate or judgement when families are already dealing with all sorts of stress and anxiety as it is.

Now for the magic of summer camp.

Summer camp is one of those growing-up memories lots of kids have, whether they went because they wanted to or they went because they had to. I grew up going to day camps all summer long because I had two working parents who did everything they could to provide for us. I’m lucky in the sense that I chose to be a teacher, granting me summer vacations to spend with my own kids. But I want them to experience the magic of summer camp, just like I did, so we compromise…I’ve sent Luca (and I’ll send Dominic next year when he’s old enough) to a half-day (9:00am-1:30pm) program for Scouts (preschool age) at the lake we belong to for two weeks in August right before we all go back to school.

But let me let you in on a little secret: No one ever tells you that when you hear “the magic of summer camp”, it’s really the parents who experience magical bliss while their kid(s) is off burning energy and exhausting themselves just in time to come home for nap, dinner, and bedtime.

First and foremost, by August, this Mama is spent. By this point in the summer, I’ve spent 2+ months of my year changing diapers, wiping butts, preventing life-threatening injuries and accidents, eating leftover mac and cheese, ignoring temper tantrums, putting bandaids on boo boos, not ever showering, and not using a single adult brain cell (HUGE shout out to all the SAHMs out there!!). And this is night and day compared to my day job during the rest of the year – despite what most people think – this is a far cry from teaching! So sending 1 out of 3 off to summer camp for a few hours a day and consequently only having to deal with 2 kids instead of 3 is MAGIC.

You want to know what else is MAGIC? It buffers the transition back to school. Gets Luca back into a normal routine – getting up in the morning, brushing his teeth, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and getting out the door. Mama and the rest of the kids get to do camp drop-off in our pjs. Starting slowly by getting one out of five family members ready for the day is a lot easier than trying to transition back to doing all five of us at once. That’s why I’m super systematic about it and only send him at the end of the summer when I need a break and when he needs to get his butt back into school mode.

It’s also pretty great when everything you’ve been fighting with your toddler about doing himself this summer just falls into place because Mommy’s not at camp with you to help you wipe your butt. Or put your swimmies on. Or spread your towel out. Or open your lunch. Or carry your backpack. Or change back into your dry clothes. Or put your socks and shoes on (probably why we came back with no socks today, but I’ll take it…). Literally he fights us tooth and nail about getting himself dressed. “But Mommy shirts are a little tricky!” (Insert Mom eyeball roll here.) But somehow, MAGICALLY, he can do it all by himself at camp!

And am I the only Mom out there who, most days, literally counts down the hours until bedtime just because I know I’ll finally get 30 seconds to myself and go pee without an audience? I really hope not. Guess what? Summer camp is MAGIC for that too because Luca comes home at 2pm so dead tired that he immediately takes his rester (thanks, cousin Ryan for coining the term to describe laying comatose on the couch watching youTube kids on the iPad) while the rest of the kids are actually napping. On a good day, no one wakes up till 4 and Luca will go back and forth between youTube kids and independently playing with his toys during this whole time. Giving me some earned hours back in my day, and also that much closer to bedtime!

Honestly, I can’t wait until NEXT August when I can send BOTH the bruises off to summer camp, giving me very rare girl time with my bow. That sounds like an absolute dream.

Really though, BIG shoutout to all the high school and college kids who agree to spend hot summer days with toddlers at a lake…during a pandemic.

Empty Threats (And Other Discipline Techniques That Never Work)

Send help. I damn near lost my mind last night. We went to the drive-in and, I swear when I say it, the bruises were the craziest kids on the block. They were SO BAD. I was straight up embarrassed – like throw-my-hands-in-the-air-and drink-a-whole-bottle-of-wine kind of embarrassed. I even accidentally butt-dialed my boss (Sorry Carrie!) mid-curse rampage because Dominic decided to act like a puppy all night. The poor, poor people who happened to have spots around us. We were THAT family.

I don’t know why the automatic preset for this video is to display it the wrong way. Need blogger help. At least when you click it, it plays the right way.

So it got me thinking about all the things we do for discipline…which never seem to work. I’ll admit, for some of them, I know why they don’t work. Others, I really don’t. I’m just trying to survive and keep my kids alive over here. And I have a two year old who doesn’t listen to a word I say. EVER. Like a puppy. I’ve compiled a list of all the discipline techniques we use, ordered most used to least used.

  1. Empty Threats. You know. “If you don’t stop wrestling you’re brother we are going home right now.” And, “Dominic. STOP. If you want to go to the lake you need to STOP. Ok you’re not going to the lake. I guess you’re staying home all by yourself.” *Whole family leaves for lake 20 minutes later.* This is one of the ones I know why it doesn’t work. Follow through. No follow through means they don’t believe a word I say.
  2. Time Out. Luca responds to time out really well! I deliver the time out and he heads right over to whatever spot I’ve designated. He sits and waits, and most of the time I forget he’s even in time out. He eventually politely asks if he can get out yet and I quickly remember he’s there. Dominic though. I deliver the time out and the little devil stares into my soul and smiles or laughs maniacally. So I deliver the time out again, this time a little sterner and a little louder. He straight up runs away, to the point where I chase him and drag him to the designated spot. If I happen to go in the other room, he’ll slither his way out or quickly find Luca to continue poking and prodding.
  3. Take away the item or toy or food in question. Usually results in immediate (crocodile fake) tears from Luca, and immediate attempted biting from Dominic (followed by tears post-bite). It seems to work for a hot second, until they find something bigger and better to be sword fighting with.
  4. Ignore completely. I believe the experts call this extinction. If you ignore something long enough the behavior supposedly happens less and less over time and eventually becomes extinct. You’re telling me the beat-each-other-up will become extinct if I do this enough? Ha. I think my kids would be dead before this happened, thus defeating the entire purpose…right? Side note, everyone knows when I ignore completely it’s because I’ve lost all energy and am waving my white flag.
  5. Tell them Santa’s watching, or tell them Elfie’s watching. Christmas. Don’t mess with Christmas. I have to say, this one DOES work if it’s close to Christmas. But when I whip it out mid-May, Luca will come back with some fresh response like, “But Mommy it’s not even winter yet.” Touche kid, touche.
  6. Mimic them. This one usually just results in a good laugh or doesn’t register with them at all. And I don’t do this one in public. I don’t think it’s a good idea to flop myself down in the toy aisle of Target and scream and cry till I get what I want. But if one of them is throwing a tantrum, have you ever tried flopping yourself down on the floor next to them and doing the exact same thing? They look at me like I have five heads and ask, “Mommy what are you doing?” They don’t even realize I’m copying them exactly. Whiney voice too – if I talk back to Luca in the same whiney voice he’s using he’ll innocently ask, “Mommy why are you talking like that?”
  7. Scream like an absolute maniac (but close the windows so the neighbors don’t hear how loud it really is). This is that last straw, I’m-gona-lose-it, are-you-ok, do-you-need-a-second kind of thing. The one where I hope and pray that the volume as well as pure and distinct rage in my voice is going to strike a chord and they GET it. Also the one I’ll never admit to anyone I actually do here and there. Usually, both boys immediately start crying – not because they feel remorse but because I scared them, and then my heart melts and I feel terrible and I run over and hug and kiss and apologize and proceed to have mom guilt for the next month and swear I’ll never do it again. Yes, I do need a second.

So I guess if you’ve figured out something that works for your toddler boys, send it my way. I’m begging you. Otherwise I think I’m just going to be a hermit and not allow my kids to leave the house ever again. Either that or I’m running away. Far, far away.

Bruises, Bows, and the Beach Part 2: All the Help

Short and sweet. This one’s going to be short and sweet.

Yesterday, I wrote about the goods and the gear — all the things I usually pack for a day at the beach with two toddlers and a baby. One of the essential items on my itemized list was ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET. I still haven’t figured out how to actively supervise all three kiddos around water, especially when Tessa is nursing. She’s a sleepy nurser who doesn’t like a lot of movement or interruption so I’m usually pretty stationary if she’s eating. And if you have a two year old like mine – who doesn’t listen to a damn thing you say, ever – you can’t afford stationary at the beach.

So, we enlist. We enlist anybody and everybody who wants to help. But really this post is a special shout out to the usual suspects. Our help crew runs deep, and we’ve gotten pretty darn systematic about it. So even though I may not get to ‘relax’ the entire time at the beach, I’m usually able to steal at least a few minutes…all because of our handy helpers.

Between Nana, Papa, Auntie Ally, Uncle Pauly, Uncle Nic, Auntie Lindsay, Gammy, Popsy, and the occasional Uncle Dave, we’ve got it made. The boys are usually a tag team, so as long as one adult is willing to go in the water, catch hermit crabs, build sandcastles, or catch shrimpies, then we’re good. Initially at the beginning of the summer Tessa was a little fussy at the beach – lots of stimulation and she wasn’t sitting up yet so she didn’t like not being able to see what’s going on. So if she was awake, we’d have one adult on her. Recently, she’s stronger sitting up and is easily distracted by just sitting directly in the sand so as long as someone’s in the vicinity, we’re totally good. That usually leaves 1 or 2 of us out of the rotation, effectively allowing us to take shifts. Inevitably, the person who is off-shift ends up being the drink runner (adult drinks, that is). But amidst drink runs, that lucky one gets to park it for a few minutes and maybe, just maybe, close their eyes or read a book or sit in peace and quiet. And then the shift changes and we do it all over again.

Ultimately, though, we’re SO dang lucky. We’re so lucky we have family that happily agrees to tag along with us, even when deep down they know a day at the beach with kids our age is no easy feat. I imagine every time a Cape weekend or a WT day comes to an end, all the helpers silently and secretly cheers to our departure so they can go back to their calm, quiet, luxurious day. So if any of my immediate family has made it this far in my post and are still reading, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for sticking those (not-so-relaxing, crazy, hectic, exhausting, sweaty…) beach days out. It means the world to my kids, and means the world to me too. ❤

Bruises, Bows, and the Beach Part 1: The Goods and The Gear

Let me just start by saying, if anyone ever tells you that going to the beach with babies and/or toddlers is easy, they are certifiably crazy. Like before I had kids, I would dream of taking my future angelic kids to the beach – parking my butt in my beach chair with a book and some snacks so I can supervise my kids frolicking happily in the waves in front of me. (If I happen to spot this at the beach, I sit in awe and jealousy of this family wondering when it will be my turn? Never.) This is so absurdly far from the truth, and while I’ll say it takes a whole ton of sh*t and a whole ton of planning to get our little family to the beach, I still love my beach days, and the kids do too (most of the time). They just aren’t anything like the storybooks say they’ll be. This two-part series will outline for you what it takes to “enjoy” a beach day with a baby and two toddlers, including the goods and the gear, and the help.

I feel like I should itemize what we pack to bring to the beach in terms of goods and gear. And I’ll preface this by saying we have a lake we frequent often as well as my in-laws’ Cape house, and in both situations we walk to get to the beach. I’ve linked items to the actual product where possible! Thank you Amazon!

  • PATIENCE. Lots of it. Like more than any other time.
  • NO EXPECTATIONS. Some days you last an hour and others you last the whole day. Some days the kids are entertained and others they whine and cry the whole time. If you don’t have expectations, then you won’t be disappointed.
  • WILLINGNESS TO GET SANDY. In your unabashed pre-kid life, you could go to the beach and avoid any grain of sand on any of your things. With kids, you need to expect it. All over you, all over them (yes they will eat it and you won’t be able to stop it), and all over your sh*t. Learn to accept it.
  • HELP. You need all the help you can get. I’ll have a separate post devoted to this entirely.
  • ADULT BEVERAGES. Whether it’s coffee or booze or seltzer water, it is an essential item.
  • Beach wagon or beach buggy. The beach buggy we used to use broke, and the wagon has held up much stronger.
  • Beach tent. It needs to be easy to put up AND easy to take down. I went through a bunch at first that were like trying to put together origami when trying to put them away before I found this one.
  • Beach umbrella. Since baby’s skin is so sensitive, we need portable shade. So we always bring the umbrella in addition to the tent. This year especially we discovered how amazing it is to put it right on the water line. Helps us supervise with baby in tow, but also provides much needed relief on really hot days to be able to sit with your butt in the water.
  • Kid beach chairs. This may sound excessive, but it honestly helps SO much. If the kids want a snack, they have to sit in their chair. It helps us avoid sandy snacks and dropped food. And the baby beach chairs trap the baby so you don’t have to worry about chasing them around. LOL. We love the Summer Pop ‘N Sit chair for babies, and the big kid version too.
  • Adult beach chairs. You can’t go wrong with the Tommy Bahama backpack chairs because you can still carry them if they don’t fit in the wagon. They also have a cup holder, cell phone pocket, and built-in cooler.
  • Sand toys in an easy open, easy close sand toy bag. So the kids can carry them if needed, and help to clean up at the end of the day. For the bruises, I especially recommend buckets, nets, and shovels, so they can catch anything and everything nasty and gross.
  • Cooler. For adult beverages and kid cold snacks, but mostly adult beverages. My mother-in-law came across this awesome Tommy Bahama zipperless cooler bag at Marshall’s.
  • Snack bag. Pack all the snacks. And pack easy tupperware or kid containers so they aren’t sticking their sandy hands into bags of chips or boxes of cheez-its. We just use a re-useable shopping bag. Easy enough.
  • Water bottles for the kids. Ones with the pop up mouth pieces so they can be closed to avoid sand. We like the Yeti ones and Hydroflask ones because they keep water icy cold. A little pricey but worth the investment.
  • Beach towels. I ditched the beach blanket a long time ago because toddlers don’t understand the idea of keeping sand off the blanket or not walking across it. Towels are a lot easier to keep in a bag and only take it out when you need it. I’m a big fan of the Pottery Barn Kids towels – personalized (so the kids don’t argue over which one they want) but also really thick and high quality. Another worthwhile splurge. I also bought cheap ones on Amazon to send to camp with Luca so he doesn’t lose any of the good ones!
  • Extra change of clothes for every kid because inevitably, “Mommy, I’m sandyyyyy!” or “Mommy, I’m colddddd!”.
  • Diaper bag. Still need all things baby, even at the beach.
  • Portable white noise machine, in case the little needs a little extra help taking a nap on the go.
  • Swim diapers. Honestly, I just keep the whole package in our beach bag now. Too many experiences with blow outs or leaky pee to only pack 1 or 2 extras. Need the whole package, all the time.
  • Water shoes. You’ll thank me later for this one because your kid will no longer be able to say “Mommy can you carry me?” (hot sand, rocky sea floor, seaweed in the water…).
  • Puddle jumpers. SO much controversy here. Lots of media coverage lately due to the false sense of safety they provide kids when around water. Here’s how I see it though. I have 3 kids, that at any time, can all go in 3 different directions. I NEED something that can give me a little extra comfort when I’m trying to supervise them all around water. It holds them upright very well. But, holding a child vertical in the water is essentially holding them in the drowning position, so we still do swimming lessons and spend plenty of closely supervised time NOT in our puddle jumpers so they can get comfortable in water without anything helping them.
  • Koozies. I almost started buying non-alcoholic slim-can seltzers JUST so I could use my BruMate. But then I realized people would probably assume I jumped on the booze-wagon at 9am by myself at the beach with 3 kids and….yeah, that wouldn’t go over well. BUT, we all know what happens when you crack your seltzer (alcoholic or not). Immediately, every kid needs your help doing 25,000 different things. So when you come back to that seltzer 3 hours later, you better believe you still want it cold! Invest in a quality koozy, BruMate or not.
  • Sunscreen. Kid sunscreen and adult sunscreen. We use Beach Bum/Baby Bum or Babyganics.
  • Hats for every kid. I don’t put sunscreen in their hair, and I still don’t put sunscreen on Tessa’s face yet. So they know the rule is: out of the water, hats on.
  • Beach shoes. Easy on, easy off, and ones that are still comfortable with sand in them. We have our Natives and our sharky shoes that we got from Stitch Fix but are kind of like these Amazon ones.
  • Boogie boards. They love to float on them and pretend to surf, even though neither boy has figured out how to actually boogie board yet. I think we got ours from the seasonal aisle at Stop and Shop.
  • Portable, wireless speaker. Music makes everything better.
  • Candy and gummies. BRIBES. Whatever you need to bribe them to: get out of the water, change their diaper, let the hermit crabs go, take a picture, eat lunch, sit still on the towel….I could go on and on.

I’m probably forgetting a bajillion things. Moral of the story: we pack our house and more to go to the beach. But who doesn’t?

My Top 5 for Him

Wah, wah, wah. I feel like I had to write this post because I did a top 5 for her. Boys clothes. The no-fun, non-creative, can’t-find-anything-unique gender. The way I see it, with my bow, I can be all sorts of creative. I can find the most ridiculous bows or dress her up in sparkly tutus, and it can still be fashionable and cute. With the bruises, I feel like I basically have to dress them like mini-men. To get my inspiration, I usually just think about current trends for my husband’s generation and look for replicas in mini sizes. I’m pretty traditional when it comes to the boys too. My absolute favorite colors to dress them in are navy blue, red, and grey or white (hence the reason we have themed outfits for Memorial day, Fourth of July [well the whole month of July, really], and Labor Day…no matter what). For other colors, I tend to stay plain and simple with olive greens and baby blues and sometimes the occasional masculine pink or purple. And every now and then I’ll throw in a pop of neon colors. We’re also at the age with Luca where he wants to pick his own clothes, so he almost always insists on comfy pants. Hence owning every pair of sweatpants and joggers known to mankind. Here’s my top 5 picks for him:

  1. crewcuts by J.Crew. I love J.Crew for me and for Mike, so it’s logical I’d love it for the bruises. Simple, traditional pieces that can keep the boys looking cute but also comfy. One of the biggest benefits of crewcuts is J.Crew factory, because sometimes J.Crew/crewcuts can be pricey. I’ve found full wardrobes of THE SAME STUFF FROM REGULAR J.CREW on factory before and paid 1/3 of the price. The one drawback to crewcuts is it only starts at size 2T (they do sell baby clothes, but they are partnered with other brands), and in my experience, sizing tends to run larger (though there is shrinkage with washing and drying). I remember eagerly waiting for Luca to get to 2T just so I could start shopping here…and it was worth the wait!
  2. Gap. Gap/Old Navy made honorable mention for my top 5 for bows, but it comes in second for my top 5 for bruises for one main reason. Quantity and affordability. Honestly, I haven’t found a ton of brands I love for boys the way I have for girls. With Gap, I know their sizing like the back of my hand (they run big!), and I can rely on them for staples in colors that I like. The bulk of my boys’ wardrobe comes from Gap – any time I need to move Luca up a size, my base purchase is a haul from Gap.
  3. H&M. I love H&M for boys the way I do for girls. I like that most of their boy clothes have a European style and fit. Less baggy and a cleaner cut. Love their skinny jeans and jogger sweatpants especially. They have plenty of fun prints that still look sophisticated and stylish without looking to baby-ish or busy. My only problem with H&M is I can’t figure out their sizing for boys no matter how hard I try. Some of their stuff runs big, some of it true to size, and some of it runs small. When all else fails, err on the side of caution and buy big, so at the very least he can grow into it if it doesn’t fit right away.
  4. Burt’s Bees Baby. Also made the list for girls, and it’s on here for the same reasons. Great sleepers and casual wear for boys. I especially love their sweatsuits for boys, that usually come with zip-up hoodies and joggers. Remember, with BBB, the more washes, the softer so wash and dry as much as your little heart desires!
  5. Target (Cat & Jack). I almost exclusively shop Cat & Jack for the boys when I go to Target. Sometimes it feels like they throw their clothes away at the prices they list for. This is the brand I usually hit up when I’m interested in neon or a pop of color. What I also appreciate about Cat & Jack is they tend to run SMALLER. So if I have an abundance of crewcuts and Gap for the boys, I know I can offset the larger sizing with smaller sizing from Cat & Jack.

Honorable mentions for boys include L’ovedbaby, Nordstrom, Zara, Kyte Baby, and Kohl’s (bear with me on this last one before you LOL). I don’t shop L’ovedbaby as much for boys as I do for girls, but their sleepers were still mainstays in our PJ collection for baby boys. If you want to know when and why I shop Nordstrom, read “My Top 5 for Her” in the Bows section of this blog. I’ll just say ditto to that. I LOVE Zara. Like love, love, love it. But they are even more European than H&M, and so for that reason I mostly buy from them in person, where I can eyeball sizing and style better. (Side note: need this pandemic to end so I can hit up Providence Place Mall again!) I’m not as confident shopping from them online, which is why I put them as honorable mention rather than in my top 5. Kyte Baby just has the softest sleepers and onesies imaginable. Ok, and now Kohl’s. I rarely step foot in this store, but my husband loves it. I will say, they have a really good selection of Nike and Under Armour clothes for baby and toddler, and I like loading up on lots of these every summer. Highly recommend!

A note on L’ovedbaby and Kyte baby. Super gender neutral. Most of their items are either/or and it really doesn’t matter what gender you are shopping for.

**Please note, I am not employed by any of the above brands, just simply a mom on the internet sharing her opinion.

“But Mommy…” And Other Pet Peeves!

Last week was one of those weeks. You know, those weeks where everything your littles (and hubby?!) say or do irritates the daylights out of you. I’m pretty sure I can blame my week on my lack of sleep and thus short fuse, and when I make it through weeks like this it’s funny to look back on how laughable some of it was. I’m listing some of my bruises’ biggest pet peeves (specifically from last week) below.

The “BUT MOMMY…”.

Luca started this recently. He starts every sentence (even if it’s a simple statement, and not, in fact, in disagreement with something I’ve said) with this. “But Mommyyyy, when can we go to the playground?” “But Mommyyyy, I want to watch more games” (he calls youTube kids ‘games’). “But Mommyyy, you said I could have a snack.” I’ve started doing it back to him and he stares incredulously at me like he’s never heard it before, and like I’M the crazy one.

The “BUT WHY…”.

The classic 2-year-old discovering he can question his parents. I don’t even think I need to explain it. Let me just give you an example of a conversation from a day in the life of Dominic:

Me: “Dommy, it’s time to come inside for dinner.”

Dominic: “But whyyyyy?” with the biggest vocal fry you’ve ever heard (Howard Stern reference). Anyone else’s kid randomly start exaggerating everything they say so it sounds like they have an accent and adding vocal fry for emphasis?

Me: “Because it’s time to eat.”

Dominic: “But whyyyy?” With even more vocal fry this time than the first.

Me: “Because I said so.”

Dommy: “But whyyyy?!”

The Baby Voice

A classic, for everyone I think. Luca does it especially when he’s trying not to cry. It’s hard being the oldest in the house. The good news is this one’s easy to handle. I usually just say, “Try again like a big boy,” and he switches right out of it.

The Purposeful Underbite

Last summer, or maybe even last fall, Luca randomly started this underbite thing. He’d pop his lower jaw out so when he’d talk, play, or run around, he’d have this constant underbite and it would bug the crud out of me. Initially in the first few days I was concerned. I think I even called the dentist worried something was wrong with his teeth or jaw. (They laughed at me.) After a while, I’d see him do it and just scream, “Luca, TEETH!” and he’d know exactly what I was talking about while everyone would turn to me like “What??”

The Floppy Fish

I can. not. stand. the floppy fish during diaper changes. Luca never did it, but at times Dominic can be the floppiest of all. It ends up being the fight of my life, and usually by the end of it there’s poop on my hands, all over him, and the new diaper is hanging by a thread on his body while the old diaper is smeared into the playroom mat.

The Scooch

I don’t know if I spelled that right. But we call Luca the scooch sometimes. He’s got that “I know how to push your buttons and get away with it” personality. Totally takes after my husband. It’s no secret we’ve been struggling for a long time with Dominic’s physicality. He currently solves peer conflicts by hitting or biting, and his brother usually gets the brunt of it. But more times than not, if I happen to catch the lead up, I catch Luca doing something sneakily on purpose to egg him on. Poking him or pretending to bite him so that Dommy bites him back are usual suspects. We’ve called him “the scooch” or have said “you’re being a scooch” so many times now that he’s learned the context of it. He’ll even call Mike and I out when we annoy him. “Mommy, YOU’RE being a scooch!”

Guys…I could go on forever. There’s soooo many pet peeves of mine that I encounter on a daily basis. I think it comes with the territory of being type A and anal retentive. But you wanna know something? If there’s anyone who can be crowned the king of my pet peeves, it’s my hubby, Mike. I’m including him as an honorary bruise in this post. (Sorry, babe!)

The Never Put Things Back Where You Found Them

Because I’m type A and anal retentive, I’m over-organized to a fault. But I married the complete opposite of me. I’ve often wondered if he has undiagnosed ADD for several reasons, but the trail of breadcrumbs he constantly leaves behind everywhere he goes is a main suspicion.

Last week Tessa had another blocked tear duct. We keep the eye drops on hand because she gets them so often. Well, we lost the eye drops because the time before that Mike was the last one to use them and left them hanging around downstairs. You better believe any time I’d use them they’d be right back on her changing table where we keep all of her other supplies. Being home ALL THE TIME during this pandemic has exasperated this times 1000, and the good thing is once my frustration around said missing object is over with, we’re usually able to laugh about it.

The “Babe Where’s The…?

This one gets me. Every time. I’ll just provide an anecdote to illustrate and I think you will all relate. I need Mike to change a diaper for me because I’m wrapped up with something else for a minute, so as he gets up he immediately locks eyes with me and says, “Babe, where’s the wipes?” Meanwhile, the wipes are exactly where we always keep them. Right there on the coffee table in front of him, or in the diaper bag by the back door.

OR here’s another classic. *Husband starts to open fridge* Before he even gets the door open far enough to see what’s actually inside the fridge, he says, “Babe, where’s the ketch-up?”. And then he proceeds to search for the ketch-up (sometimes even saying “Babe, I think we need more ketch-up!”), when in reality, the ketch-up is staring front and center on the shelf back at him. I come over to help him out, take one glance, and immediately pull the ketch-up off the shelf and hand it to him. My mother-in-law and I have commiserated lovingly over this one before.

The “I’m just going to mow the lawn real quick!”

Ladies, I think you all know this one. It’s that mysterious one where all of a sudden the kids are all going nuts, you can’t make anyone happy, and the hubby decides it’s the perfect time to mow the lawn. “It’ll only take me 20 minutes, I swear!”

3 hours later…*husband re-enters house from “mowing the lawn”*

Me: WTF took you so long?????

Him: I noticed the weeds growing through the fence so I weed-whacked, and I really liked using power tools because I felt manly so I decided to cut down a tree and chop some wood.

Me: (To myself) It’s the middle of summer, why in g-d’s name do we need wood right now?. *Throws baby at hubby.* I’m going to shower (Because the shower is every mom’s safe-haven, right?).

What’s your biggest pet peeve, either little’s or partner’s? I’d love to hear your stories…a good laugh is good for the soul. Drop a comment below. 🙂

My Bruises

If anyone is wondering (I’m sure you’re not…you get the concept) why I coined them my bruises, it’s because I’m dealing with this 95% of my day. When I happened to snag this on camera today, it was all in good fun. But I’d say we run a 50/50 line there…one minute we’re best friends and the next we’re pure enemies.

COVID has been sucky from all angles. So I tell myself for my own sanity that I need to count my silver linings. One of them has definitely been these two becoming bonafide best buds. When literally the only peer you see for weeks on end is your two-year-old/four-year-old brother, you are forced to play together. We’re lucky these two have taken to it so well. I’ll take the endless bruises any day if this is the outcome.

I figure this is a good time to explain my two bruises, too. Because they couldn’t be more opposite. Luca is my first born, and with that came all the typical first born things. Yep, I coddled him, catered to him, and gave him everything he ever wanted. The endless and growing pile of crap in my playroom is testament to that. So inherently he’s the mama’s boy. He’s curious but cautious, likes to cuddle, and can turn on the fake whine or cry on a dime. He listens when I tell him no or ask for help. Dominic is the middle child, and with that came all things middle child. He’s a mischievous maniac that likes to solve problems with his fists or his teeth (gasp!). He’s bold and blonde and will probably be a little heartbreaker. He doesn’t listen when I tell him no or ask for help.

The last thing I want is for this blog to be a brag blog. But a little context never hurt. You’ll see the humor in future blog posts if you take the time to read this one!